i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
