tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
