i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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