the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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