Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
