Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
