so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
