Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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