things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it's like heaven, but drunker
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
