idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
