i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
