Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
