He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
