Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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