so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
