Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it glows. i had to have it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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