Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
