Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
