if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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