Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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