So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
