All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
there is puke in my bra ... again
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