How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
