The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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