i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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