New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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