I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
