TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
