i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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