I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im holly from the hills drunk
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
