Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
