I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
