No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
