he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
