i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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