the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
