the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
