I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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