She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
