So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
