i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
