Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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