I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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