sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
