Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
