Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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