Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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