not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
