Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
