shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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