Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
