I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
