we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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